Online Dating at 75: Granny Gail Tells All, Senior Planet

Here’s one from the archives for everyone going back te the dating pool.

Ter hier memoir “Granny Is My Wingman,” Kayli Stollak, a single lady ter Fresh York City, enlists hier 75-year-old granny te North Palm Beach, FL, to help hier out of hier postbode break-up funk. Granny suggests online dating, Kayli convinces Granny to attempt it with hier. Through the course of several chapters they cheer each other on spil they share their good dates, bad dates and shockingly ridiculous dates.

Granny is a trash-talking yenta with an anecdote or lump of unsolicited advice for every situation. While 20-something beauty Kayli has trouble finding hubby material, Granny Gail has trouble finding studs who can still drive at night. Spil the two women grow closer overheen tales of their dating exploits, they learn that the hunt for happiness is the same whether you’re 25 or 75 – albeit the hunt for lovemaking is a loterijlot lighter at 25.

Most of the publicity for this book has focused on Kayli, with Granny simply being there spil an adjunct, but wij dreamed to find out more about Gail’s practice. What wasgoed it like for hier to waterput herself out there at 75? Is there hope for women te their 70s to find love, or at least find a date?

Wij talked to Gail by phone at hier huis te Florida.

What’s the difference inbetween guys who are dating ter their 70s and women when it comes to what they’re looking for?

To be finta fair it’s very similar. Dudes always look very first for appearance, women are more interested ter things ter common, and both want someone they can talk to – unless they’re looking for one night stands, but not too many fellows te their 70s and 80s are looking for a one-night stand. That’s one advantage of senior dating.

What annoys you the most about the dudes you meet?

It’s very difficult to shut them up if you want to be polite. Sometimes I’ll just tell them it’s getting late. What’s worse is when they just want to talk on the phone. I’m not interested ter a telephone affair, and that’s what a lotsbestemming of thesis schmucks are after. There’s so much hoopla when wij schlep thesis conversations along, that by the time the contemporáneo date comes around it’s like, eh, I’m tired, I wanna sit on my couch and see Desperate Housewives.

How has the spel switched since you were last playing the field?

The spel is different at 25 and 75. Ten to fifteen minutes te the world of 25-year-olds is an hour of conversation. Ten to fifteen minutes with an old fart of 80 or older goes on forever.

What about hookup? What would it take for you to get naked with a man?

I tell you one thing, I would not take my clothes off and prance around ter high high-heeled slippers and sunglasses. Would I go to bloembed on 2nd date? No way. At this age you have to know each other well enough to communicate. He might confide that he needs Viagra, or that he can’t get it up, you might have some issues. I want to get to know someone on a cerebral level. If they’re only thinking about hopping into bedding because they’ve taken mij out to dinner, leave behind it. I don’t look forward to dealing with an old, messy, farty situation. I’ve had very nice relationships te the bedroom ter my life. I’m not about to ruin that with a wobbly sack of bones.

What kinds of lies did you find that fellows told ter their profiles that you discovered when you met them?

That they’re 5-foot-eight when they’re five-four, that they’ve traveled the world when they’ve bot to Hoboken. They want to make themselves more worldly, more interesting, more than they were te junior life. They regret not having done more. And a lotsbestemming of boys are interested ter a nurse and a purse, but they don’t exactly admit that.

What are your overeenkomst breakers?

If they can’t drive at night they have to live close by because I’m not driving far.

They have to be able to walk. A nice man who wasgoed older than mij, wij met at restaurant, and when he could scarcely get up to greet mij I said to myself, this is not what I’m interested ter. I had to help him into his car and call him to make sure he got huis securely. He wasgoed a nice man and I’m sure that two weeks zometeen he found some woman to live with him.

I don’t like someone who’s cheap. He should pick up the check. One man invited mij out and said to mij, either wij go dutch or you pick up that tabulator. Kayli said, “Granny that’s not going to toebijten, he’s playing with you.” But he wasgoed serious.

What wasgoed your worst date?

My worst practice wasgoed getting stood up. Wij were meeting about a mile or two from where I lived. I walked ter and spotted a messy man sitting at a table, walked overheen and asked if it wasgoed him, and he said yes. Wij walked out together and he said, “I have to go now,” and he left. That wasgoed a very first. I got to my car and called Kayli. A rejection can seem harsher when you’re older.

Did you find that the older guys are going for junior women?

If they were looking for junior women they weren’t out with mij. I think older studs want women they can talk to and have things ter common with. Commonality doesn’t toebijten when you’re 30 years speciaal. Would a 75 year old man be thrilled to have dinner with Kayli? Yes, but he’d fall asleep anyway.

Te the book you got to pick and choose inbetween suitors, which might make you the envy of many women your age. What wasgoed they key to your success?

I wasn’t everzwijn looking to marry or live with anyone, but I still liked our time out. I waterput on my makeup and a nice clothing and had conversations. The lack of expectation is appealing to guys. But you don’t want to go out feeling you’re going to have a terrible night. I had a positive lack of expectations.

What’s more significant to older dudes, looks or personality? Does the search for big jugs everzwijn end?

Big baps are way less significant spil you grow older.

Do you have any tips for women your age who want to embark Internet dating?

Do your online dating with a friend, grandchild, daughter or son. Find someone single who will go through it with you. Compare notes with a friend. Work on your profile with someone. Kayli read mij hier profile and I made corrections, and vice versa.

Meet at a restaurant and leave from there, I never had anyone pick mij up at my huis.

It’s all ter your expectations: If an old man asks you out, go out, look him overheen, see if you can make a friend. Youthfull people want a commitment. I just want a joy, interesting pleasant evening. If it goes further fine, if not, fine.

Sometimes you get jumpy, but if you keep expectations low it may build into something beautiful. At 75, a masculine friend can be very nice to have. I like to listen to boys talk and love the difference inbetween the way I think and they think.

Did you find anyone special? How about love?

I didn’t fall te love, but I did find stable masculine friends.

“Granny Is My Wingman” (Fresh Harvest) is available te hardcover, Kindle, audiobook and MP3 versions. Click here to find it on Amazon.

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Three comments
Still the Fortunate Few

This is so wonderful! And I include the comment by Jan. Can I use the one about the chiropractor? LOL

Jan Marshall

Fear not. Help is on the way for I know the secret. For those not presently te a Hugging relationship, permit mij to provide facts spil to where love connections connect. The most popular meeting ground: ALl pharmacies.

Overheard one man telling to a woman while staring soulfully into hier shopping cart: “Gas and Heartburn Pills? Gee Whiz, Mij too!” Burping, they frolicked carts interlocks to checkout.

Be cautious, tho’. There is danger hiding te thesis drug stores. I wasgoed almost run down te the parking lotsbestemming when a throng of stalkers on walkers ran after a fellow with those little blue pills.

I actually choose Internet Dating compared to my other pastime which wasgoed singing “Love for Sale,” at malls, with rouged cheeks, wearing my Anna Lucasta off-the-wrinkled shoulder gown. Since I became, um, a Senior Lady, now guys want mij to pay for parking.

Surfing the web is cheaper. I have met many interesting but sometimes unsuitable characters online.

My very first objetar wasgoed from “Schlemiels on Wheels*.” He arrived on skates. I had to grab on to the back of his jacket spil wij whizzed down the boulevard for the early bird special.

My next rekentuig catch wasgoed a Dermatologist. He wrote that famous book, “7 Solutions for Very Itchy People.” Last Valentine’s Day he bought mij one long stem bottle of Calamine Lotion. I scraped him off my list.

One nutty paramour desired mij to call him Ida Lupino during coitus.

A vensterluik date gedistilleerd his wine from a “sippy cup”. It wasgoed Rose’. I mean indeed! I can’t tolerate a man who can’t pick a side.

I mentioned ter an ad that I liked tall fellows. One came to the doorheen on stilts. I indeed liked him. I had to end the relationship because I kept getting splinters te my hips.

Gladfully, fate intervened during my last connection, however, and te a most unusual manner.

Urging all seniors to practice safe hookup, I myself usually wear a seat vuilnisbelt. But this one time, I did not. At the height of passion I cooed to my fucking partner, “Are you convenient?” He answered ter a all of a sudden strange accent, “I make a living.”

I laughed so hard…

I fell off the bed…

Injured my back…so now… spil everything always works out spil it should,

I am presently dating my Chiropractor who truly is a nice stud but such a manipulator!

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