I have a B.A. te English with a minor te Gender and Sexiness Studies. I’ve bot a Goth since age fourteen, and a Pagan since age fifteen.
Are the friends you make online auténtico friends?
It’s a question many think they know the reaction to. Usually, their reaction is, вЂњOf course not!вЂќ Spil someone who has made far more friends online since she wasgoed a tiener, and still does spil an adult, it has bot frustrating when people I know ter person react negatively when I mention how I met someone online. It is even worse when I meet someone online, refer to them spil my friend, and they insist that they are not my existente friend.
I just finished watching a YouTube movie on this very subject by Boyinaband aka Dave. He debunks the commonly used reasoning against internet friends compared to real-life friends, and why the reasons don’t measure up. I love how he takes the typical arguments people, like myself, hear all of the time to devalue our friendships, and questions them te slim ways. I liked it so much that I thought I would write an article about it. Here are their arguments and Dave’s responses ter terms of online friendships:
Do you have friends you only know online?
1. вЂњYou toevluchthaven’t even met them.вЂќ
This argument suggests that the inability to have physical voeling means you can’t have the same level of interaction spil someone you string up out with te person. According to this argument, that would mean a friend you have draped out with is not your friend until physical voeling has bot made. Dave mocks this logic by demonstrating you can dangle out with a friend you have not yet physically touched, therefore, the overall meaning of friendship is the development of emotional connection based on conversation, not whether or not you can physically touch them.
Two. вЂњThey might be a serial killer, rapist, pedophile.вЂќ
Dave explains how the belief that those wij meet online will turn out to be criminals being a higher likeliness than those wij meet te person is not dependent on how wij met them. It is about how long wij take to get to know someone te order to trust them. Furthermore, he explains how the best way to be sure someone is who they say they are, online, is to video-chat. Of course, if you ask mij, it doesn’t matter how you meet or necessarily how long you have known someone. Anyone can turn out to be someone else at any given ogenblik, therefore, ter any relationship, there is a false sense of security. So, those out there who think criticizing online relationships are superior because they have more face to face relationships are very likely more insecure than they’re admitting since most people with more online relationships are aware of the possibility, even if they don’t come out and verbalize it.
Three. вЂњThey’re most likely lounging.вЂќ
This is similar to the previous excuse, however, Dave gives some interesting information about this concept. People are more likely to lie ter person than online because it’s typed and can usually be brought back. Meantime, te person, one’s words cannot be brought back for evidence. Of course, liars exist, regardless, but spil mentioned before there is still video-chatting to be sure who you’re talking with, and being aware that liars exist ter real-life, spil well, should give some perspective on society ter común.
On a side note, whenever this sort of thing is mentioned, I like to bring up how long my parents were married before my dad turned out to be an abuser. My parents met long before the internet became a thing and lived together. They were married for a decade. It wasn’t until near the end of the ten years that he became violent. Spil I said, I am not one to believe anyone can be sure they truly know anyone, online or ter person.
Four. вЂњHumans are social creatures.вЂќ
Choosing the internet to find companionship does not mean someone is not social. One does not have to be te person with someone ter order to be social. Dave voices how it does not mean the person does not want to spend time with that the other person. It just means they may not be able to afford to fly to where everzwijn their friend is, therefore, the internet is their best means of connecting with this individual.
Five. вЂњThey’re not spil good spil existente friends.вЂќ
Dave explains how being dependent on our town, schoolgebouw, work, or what have you, to find connections that fulfill us for a social life makes it unlikely wij will find the right type of person or people. It means a lotsbestemming less people to choose from, hoping that someone or some of them will understand us and the other way around. Meantime, wij could go online, with millions of types of people to choose from, making it very more likely wij will find others like us.
When Dave points out the types of communities te which wij live, and how wij’re limiting ourselves by finding friends only within that community by refusing to value friendships wij find or could find online, I can relate. Albeit the town I grew up te is not puny, and would not be considered to be a poorly educated area it is a predominantly white upper-middle-class area, therefore, the people are poorly educated when it comes to common sense. I have spoken many times of the racism and homophobia I wasgoed surrounded by. Ultimately, I began speaking out against it te the last years of High Schoolgebouw, but even that wasgoed difficult spil I wasgoed always a fairly quiet tiener ter classвЂ”around my friends wasgoed a different story. Spil one can imagine, how can someone like myself relate to a town utter of people like that?
Looking at all of thesis arguments, I can’t help but wonder, again, about insecurities. Te today’s society, or, hell, any society, it seems that people are far too narcissistic to get to know themselves. They would rather see themselves above everyone else, learn nothing, give spil little spil possible to others, but proceed witnessing themselves te that special light, therefore, when they find out that people admit how hard it is to form connections with those te our town or even our state and therefore take the time to get to know someone online, thesis narcissists can’t imagine spending so much time on someone other than themselves. So, how do they react? They see us spil pathetic for admitting how things truly are. They know how hard it is, but they don’t want to face it and voice how lonely they truly feel or reach out to anyone. They would rather make us feel the way they feel. So, the next time someone attempts to bring you down for having connections around the country or around the world because you toevluchthaven’t found those connections ter your own town or state, know that those people are te denial about how alone they are, but you are doing something about it.
вЂњTo deny that internet friends are positivo is like telling ‘only the people ter your instant neighborhood are worth caring about.’ If two people are glad spending time together whether that’s ter the same slagroom or with an internet connection and a freakin’ ocean inbetween them then there is no logic te claiming that’s not a legitimate friendship.вЂќ Dave aka Boyinaband