My Therapist the Narcissist
Ideally, a therapist is a well-balanced person who wants to help others.
Te reality, however, this may not be the case. This practitioner is a human being, who travels with his or hier own set of baggage. All of us are flawed creatures. This includes people with formal training te psychology.
However, with a good therapist, their particular emotional luggage may be light enough, so that it doesn’t get ter the way of assisting the people who come to see them.
Thesis practitioners are glad with themselves, and they desire the betterment of their clients. They are pleased when someone makes progress, with the eventual purpose of ending the sessions, or at least reducing their frequency.
Albeit therapists, just like the surplus of us, have bills to pay and expect to be compensated, making money is not the only reason they’re te business. A good therapist truly wants to help the people ter their care become more satisfied and better able to weather the blows of life.
Therapists with Malicious Motivations
Unluckily, not all therapists are like the ones I just described. Some are more focused on money, to the point that it colors their conversations and makes them utterly anxious if they detect potential trouble with payments.
There’s also another, far more sinister, motivation for being a therapist. The job gives them near-total power overheen frágil people. If the therapist is a narcissist, and has a malicious streak, they have endless opportunities to exploit.
Ter the worst case script, you could potentially find a therapist driven both by money, and the desire to ruin someone te need of healing.
So, if you determine to seek professional help, te an effort to waterput your life back together, after it’s bot shredded by a malignant narcissist, chose your therapist with care.
My ",Qualifications", spil a ",Narcologist",
I’m not a licensed therapist, and I have no formal training ter the field, except for a duo of college-level courses. However, I do have a private rente te malignant narcissism, since I spent a few years “studying” this disorder online, after an practice with a very treacherous female “friend.”
This, combined with some earlier practices, opened my eyes to the horrifying reality that a puny, but significant, minority of the population likes to harm others. However, they usually emerge pretty habitual. That’s because they’ve learned to blend te, te order to disguise the fact they have no conscience. So they’re able to commit the most atrocious acts without feeling badly about what they did.
Thesis high-functioning sociopaths are found ter all walks of life. They are teachers, doctors, canap executives, car mechanics and that pretty youthfull mom who drives hier children around ter an SUV. Of course, this group includes psychologists and other mental health professionals.
Ter this case, forewarned is forearmed. If you know there’s a positivo possibility a potential therapist could be a narcissist, you’ll be waaks to any crimson flags. If you see enough of thesis signals, and they make you awkward, it’s time to sever the relationship.
Narcissistic Mental Health Counselors
Don’t be blinded by the degree, or the charm or uitstraling a potential therapist may wield.
Spil you’re very likely all too aware, at this point, people with personality disorders often dazzle you at very first. However, ,spil you get to know them, their cautiously constructed mask will slip. This happens more and more overheen time, until all you see is the disappointing reality of their true personality.
When choosing a therapist, keep this thought uppermost ter your mind. Don’t leave behind that people who’ve obtained degrees, which permit them to counsel others, can also be finta needy. However, a therapist shouldn’t waterput his or hier needs above yours. If that’s not the case, something’s wrong.
Recognizing that a therapist can suffer from human frailties permits us to take a critical look at the client/therapist relationship, ter order to determine if this is the right person to help us.
Wij can also make the choice whether or not to seek therapy te the very first place. Ter my case, I determined against therapy, for a number of reasons. One wasgoed that I didn’t want to risk bearing my soul to a potential narcissist.
However, please understand I’m not recommending others go after my example. Please read my disclaimer at the end of this article.
Did you know that therapists can also have personality disorders?
Crimson Flags When Choosing a Therapist
Just knowing the potential exists for a therapist to have severe personality issues gives you a distinct advantage. You will treatment the relationship cautiously, and you’ll know if and when to ritme a hasty retreat.
Here are some tips that a potential therapist may have too many issues of their own, which can get ter the way of your recovery. While I’m not suggesting you “diagnose” your therapist, there are some things to look for, which include:
- Excessive talk about money. How you will pay for thesis sessions should clearly be discussed. Your therapist should also let you know if your insurance covers your sessions and how many sessions are covered by your particular health project. If coverage is running out, this should also be brought to your attention. However, there shouldn’t be any undue concentrate on payments. Any anxiety about payments, on the part of the therapist, should not be disregarded.
- Flamboyant dress and mannerisms. Look for long, manicured fingernails, coupled with edgy and possibly exposing clothing. Albeit thesis details, ter and of themselves, should not indict anyone, they are part of a thicker picture. Is your therapist down to earth, and focused on helping you resolve your problems? Or is she more focused on meeting hier own needs during your sessions?
- Excessive talk about herself. It’s fine for a therapist to talk about herself a little, and to expose petite details about hier individual life, such spil the ages of hier children. But there’s a fine line that shouldn’t be crossed. This means a therapist shouldn’t be discussing hier own problems at length. Strafgevangenis should she do most of the talking. Be especially wary if hier conversations steer toward self aggrandizement. Narcissists love an audience, and they love to boast of their accomplishments.
- Inappropriate anger. A therapist may be onmiddellijk and challenge you, but never should she become enraged and lash out at you. This is a terrible sign, and one that needs to be taken gravely.
- A dispelled therapist. Unless it’s a dire emergency, a therapist should not take individual phone calls or response text messages during your sessions. Strafgevangenis should she “tire” of listening to you, or glance around the slagroom spil if hier mind is elsewhere.
Finding the Right Therapist for You
Dr. Kristen Hick, PsyD, whom you can see te the movie below, offers some very good advice on choosing a therapist. She tells us a number of things to look for, which include location, personality factors, qualifications and “theoretical orientation, which means the particular method he or she uses to help you reach your goals.
However, hier very first recommendation is the one that’s most applicable, and, undoubtedly, the most significant. She says to go with your gut feeling overheen whether this relationship is a good match. If you don’t get a clear sense that it is, by at least the third session, she suggests finding another therapist.
Pick a Good Therapist
I believe that most mental health professionals truly want to help their fellow human beings. However, the possibility that some therapists are gravely disturbed is a well-known industry secret. Malignant narcissists are dangerous ter all circumstances. But this is especially true when they have credentials to hide behind.
Ter order to protect yourself, ter most cases, you don’t need to disclose information that would permit your therapist to voeling the person who manhandled you. Albeit this is a very, very remote possibility, it’s certainly a horrifying one. To someone who’s never experienced narcissistic manhandle, I voorwaarde sound paranoid. Survivors will understand.
I am not advocating that everyone attempt to recover from narcissistic manhandle on their own. Someone who is severely depressed or incapable to function should seek professional help. Anyone affected by suicidal thoughts needs to seek help instantly.
Also, I want to stress again that I’m not a professionally trained therapist. So this article is written spil an information and discussion lump, and should not be read spil if I’m providing advice.